5/2/2020 Fell asleep into blisful sleep ay 7pm. Had wanted to wait till after 10pm when I take my Madopar PBS overnight tablet.
Disgusted to wake at only 10.30pm thinking it must be at least 3am. Got up had belated meal but not hungry. Got a sudden fancy for seafood. Seafood salad last night and lunch, trout filets for tea ut couldnt be bothered preparing salad. Only ate a little bit.
Restless legs clamping and letting go in thighs and buttocks. still ha
vent taken 10pm madopar. very thirst. Will go take it now. 12pm. Bladder holding better but not passing much urine. Urine dark. (Remember this is just a diary record as it happens and cannot at this stage be attributed to one particular med because my dose of Sofril /Sifrol was cut out completely. That seems like a logical thought. Hopeful.)
Right now what I want to document is my dreams over the past hour, in which I was the instigator of several full-colour bizarre murders involving lift shafts and fire, severed limbs, the long wait as the lifts slowly ascended or descended, and standing beside black-painted, Victorian-style steel railings on a sandstone step watching grisly murders unfold and coming towards me. Fortunately the details are starting to fade. In some I had a silent male accomplice who seemed in tune with me. Now I abhor any horror or zombie movies so where is this from.
My current underlying feeling at the moment has gone from hopeless despar growing over the past week. Sunday night was worst, to a volcano lool of mild anger. I am still very resentful of the two friends who let me down last Friday, when I had gone out of my way to make both of them feel better and had made a real effort to clean and tiny (things were already done by the time my cleaner came for her 1-1/2 hours, then I didnt have a proper rest in the terrible heat but prepared my promised pizza dough and ingredients then Ros next door couldnt be bothered and said no, she wasnt coming in and no, she didnt want some bringing any in, as I usually do in. Then when I texted Janet to see if she was coming (having made a fuss about wanting to visit for days but would bring her own diet meal) she blithely rang and said her daughter and grandson had suddenly arrived, and no they didnt want to come for pizza. In fact, she added unapologetically, she had completely forgotten in the excitement. Which all made me look pretty dumb in front of my new neighbour who had been invited to meet both of Ros and Janet. This neighbour cant eat pizza.
At my age, I have noticed, everybody is gluten fre, lactose free, or sugar free, so it is best to let them bring their own.
Just bad a hot flush, which may be the Madpar kicking in. I want to go back to sleep, but not to dream.Nightmares, often violent, are common to people with Parkies.. Perhaps this is why I tend to get back to sleep as dawn is coming.
It has only been in the past four days that I have had any restful sleep at all,despite the intense heat. Being closed in for days with the aircon gking nearly 24/7 to take out the humidity is enough to send anybody daft.
I must note the flashing light in my eyes. Its both eyes so from the brain. And my visiion is worse since the change of meds. Need to go back to sleep. Thinking of fields of daisies to replace raw leg of lamb I see on a wooden table in my mind. Just needed to document in case I have a phsychotic episode. These mind-altering drugs always do my head in at first. Feeling better now.
4.23am Awake and very sore dspite taking 2 paracetamol alomg with madopar pbs, does it to me every time. Hard to type. Must get up and do stretching to unclench eveeything. Aargh.