Xmas Shopping All Done Online and in Bed But

What to give my sons in their forties if its not a JB Hifi always welcome gift card. Then I saw the very Aussie humorous advertising on the Knobby’s hugely successful website. It had their email address. I had an idea! And before you scoff I got a Distinction at the University of Newcastle for my Marketing presentation in Media Studies, albeit in 2002:

Email to Knobby’s:

irstly I love your whole concept.

Photo ciurtesy of Knobby’s underpants website. Link below

Secondly I am a Mum of two married sons.
Three that makes me (ominous deum roll) a M*****- in – L**, which is much worse than a Mother F*.

This means anything I give my precious babies (honestly I have never – ever – referred to them as that before, and never will again, but I am having fun with this idea!) will be approved.

Buying for sons in their forties who, fortunately, have everything leaves us with – undies, which is very boring. Till you came along, and this is where the fun comes in (sort of).
I’m afraid I cant go with your vibrant young designs. My boys wouldnt either, Im afraid. My Grandsons probably already do.
But I do love the idea of the fun concept of sending my boys a clean pair of undies every month for a year, packaged as ‘Mum’s Undies :

Wife: “Darling, your Mum’s Undies have arrived!” Mutters to self: “Doesnt she think I do his bloody laundry every month.”

QSon: “Hmm, wonder what colour this time. Good old Mum”.
Somehow word has got round the office and every month the staff run a sweep to guess the colour. They all know the style :

Pierre Cardin meets David Beckham.

Short leg boxer style.
Comfortable knitted cotton/lycra.
Discreet emphasis on the easy fitting, sperm-cooling, ball sack.
Absolutely no Y-front fly opening. Not ever.
But COLOUR. DEEP SOLID COLOUR. Every month a jewel in the box: Deep Purple, Hot English mustard, Deep Ocean Green, Artists Sky Blue, French Kiss Blue, not sure about Graveyard Grey, but they could come in handy, Best Vintage Burgundy, Harley Levi Denim, Barebum Peach (sorry), Candystripe Black and White, Footy Final blue with Maroon, and.. big finish.. Sexy Santa Red with white trim. Must be December:
Wife: “Hmm, wonder what colour he’s wearing tonight?”. Eyes partner thoughtfully…

The End, pardon the pun.

Please put me down for two orders of Mum’s Undies. Maybe $15 per month for less design expense and no extra customer marketing?

No-fuss plain brown carboard container monthly. Nothing but one pair of very comfy top of the range undies inside.

No plastic.

Priced for Mums on pensions.
That’s my Christmas shopping done. Time for a Sangria with lemonade. (No Son, it’s just a nice cooling fruit juice. Full of vitamins).

PS. Now this is absolutely true: My mother – my boys’ Grandmother, always used to send them underpants in their parcels from when they were very little because where she worked produced the latest styles . One year my eldest son – now a teenager – came up to me and said: ” Mum, you had better tell Grandma that if she wants to have any Great-grandchildren she had better start sending a bigger size!”

Check out the real Knobby’s undies. What is being worn Down Under (that’s Australia)

Published by Eunice C English

FormerFreelance journalist. Poet, writer, artist, photographer. Retired and coping with Parkinson's Plus, macular degeneration and other boring stuff but life is still interesting, if a bit of a challenge!

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